The Look

In the thick of a seedy pool hall
It’s not about luck at all
It’s in the way you walk on through
The casual way you chalk your cue
The practiced way your rack the set
And the smile you give as you accept the bet
It’s in the way you shrug and say
“I really don’t think it’s my lucky day!”
It comes down to the way you approach the break
Your calm steady gaze as you make
The shot and the manner in which
You calmly dismiss the competition
It’s our long standing pool playing tradition
The act of coolly psyching out
The opposition, leaving them without a doubt
That they don’ t have a hope in hell
Of playing even vaguely well

So Jules and I we raised some hell
We played pool divinely well
We accepted the challenge with a smile
From some gentlemen totally without guile
We beat them fair and square
With our particular brand of flair
And left them standing at the table
Totally unable to show
The damage to the male ego

The following morning I had to go
To the birthday party as I told you so
My head felt like a helium balloon
Floating somewhere up near the moon
I smiled politely at all and sundry
And downed fresh orange juice with glee
I spent the rest of the day in bed
Nursing a very very poor sore head!

On Friday, my BodyTalk therapist mentioned detox in offhand tones
It didn’t communicate feeling ill to my bones
I spent most of the weekend sick in bed
Feeling horrible from my toes right up to my head
I threw up and lay down and then did it again
Doubled up with excruciating stomach pain
I’m still reeling a little from the after effects
A little like suffering vertigo if you’re a tyrannosaurus rex

Luke’s turning 4 as I think I’ve said
And I’ve avoided a party this year, instead
We’re taking the Gang to Buddy Bear
To make their own best friend forever
I hope I get the invites out in time
Or I’ll be a Mum cut down in her prime!

I got a little something to put a spring in my step
For spring day a fabulous strawberry punnet
The peacock’s been getting into the spirit of things
Parading his tail feathers and puffing out his wings
The pea hen doesn’t seem so keen
I think she likes to keep him mean
Aside from which it’s cold outside
Especially for a child bride

I realise that my cigarette addiction
Is more than a physical affliction
I smoke because I’m bored
Because for 10 minutes I’m assured
Of something to do and someone to chat to
Of getting some sun and some fresh air
Imagining what I would buy if I were a millionaire
So I succumbed and had a puff
Only to realise that I’ve had enough
Of tobacco breath and that queasy feeling
Now I’ll spend the next week climbing the ceiling

Marais should count his blessings one to ten
That I don’t have PMS and hate all men
He needs to start watching his choice of words
When describing chicks, girls and birds
Actually it’s just me he’s out to offend
Or simply put, to drive me round the bend
I think it’s time I put my status into play
And delegate some work his way
He’ll need to love me then I think
Especially if he plans to have a drink
At the bar when it opens at 4
I have the power to shut the door
On those aspirations and call the CD
To turn Marais into a very very busy little bee

I’m gonna shoot the whole day down!

How best to start a Monday morning

Then by running a tub and jumping in without warning

To a bath filled with melt water from some Artic glacier

You know what? I’m going back to bed, I’ll call you later

There are only two ways this day could go

It could get better or it could just blow

Scott’s making stuff purple ‘cause he can

I’m logging onto to Facebook to find a hit man

I’ve only got access between one and two

Man, oh man, you haven’t got a clue

Just how irritating it can be

When you’re then interrupted by your CD

I’ve got another one of those briefs you know

The type that make you grunt and groan

To write a call to entry for some competition or other

God knows how you enter, ask your mother

You may will a prize of some sort or not

I haven’t a clue, but you’ve missed a full stop

Stop! Stop! Stop! I’m losing my head

I knew I should’ve stayed in bed.

Theo’s had enough, he’s gone home with the flu

Christina should really be doing that too

She lost her MAC – been essentially downgraded

Bitter and twisted she’s feeling quite jaded

Marc sent me a pic of a wee little house

For a sweet little lady and her sweet little spouse

It’s cute – maybe a little bit twee

Not so sure if it’s really me

I get where they’re going and it’s pretty cool

If you toned down the pink and added a pool

It’s a tad overpriced in my estimation

But a nice little spot for a family vacation

Is my meeting tomorrow at 1?

Or Wednesday at 3 when I’m on the run?

It depends who you talk to

If its false or if its true

Well babyshoes, I’m leaving it up to you!

Marais is having a complete breakdown

Approval processes are getting him down

Timing schedules the stuff of nightmares

We don’t have time to start splitting hairs

Just sort something out and get out of here!

I must update you on our proud peacock

Today he got one hell of a shock

You see the company cat has illusions of grandeur

If I spoke cat I might have tried to warn her

That taking on a bird of that size

Is really quite frankly not all that wise

Then again the bird is perfectly dense

And he flew right into the electric fence

Now I’ve written some utterly fabulous rules

If they can’t figure them out they’re a royal bunch of fools

I’ve done my very very best

And now I’m taking a well-earned rest

Having a smoke and a cup of tea

Basically, what I’m saying is… That’s me!

Pea-Duck

I’ve just been crowned the Queen Bee

Scott left a crown on my desk for me

Frank bought me a snack for lunch

Definitely time to have something to munch

Christina ordered pizza, Sarah went on a date

Lunchtime ends at 2, better not be late

The date was apparently no oil painting

But Sarah’s not really complaining

He picked up the tab and let’s face it

In this day and age that’s pretty cool innit?

Theo’s got his work cut out

I knew I heard Dino shout

Marais looks like he could use a mug

Of strong black coffee – he is a bit of a drug

Addict when it comes to caffeine

Without his next hit he gets pretty mean

Then we can go for a smoke in the sun

Watch the peacock make another run

At the ducks. As beautiful as his tail feathers are

He just doesn’t get that a peaduck is just too damn bizarre!

Footnote:

Now my foot’s gone to sleep so I’m limping along

And I have to write some short catchy song

For a website that’s destined to shortly go phut

I really need a big kick in the butt

To stimulate some awesome creative idea

But all I can smell is Bacsa’s pizzeria