Probably a good description of me this morning. Of course I only woke up to the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party for Small girl aged 6’s school this morning.
Unruffled, well only mildly ruffled, I turned to Facebook for help in finding a straw hat to decorate. Within minutes Shelli Nurcombe-Thorne from www.joburg.co.za came through as she always does.
I sheparded two children into the car and set off for downtown Johannesburg, where princesses from Sandton suburbia fear to tread.
Of course the Garmin malfunctioned so we went on a scenic tour of some of the city’s less salubrious spots before ending up at Hat City.
What a fantastic place. Hats of all shapes and sizes, decorated and not, top hats, beanies, star hats and wedding hats galore. The Queen Mum would have loved it.
Small girl found something meeting her exacting standards, Small boy aged 7 found a leather cap with a tiger on it and we all found a beautiful summer hat for my glorious mother who is celebrating her 70th birthday on this St Patrick’s Day.
I am now sorely tempted to try make my own hats, as you can buy brims and heads too.
I feel a phase coming on, but not to worry, I usually get through them pretty quickly.
I was expecting our haul to put a dent in my beleaguered bank balance, but even had to ask if there was a mistake when he totted up exactly R60 for our purchases. That’s less than $6.
Now all I need to do is rustle up the leftover Christmas ribbon and we can set off to the Mad Hatter’s Party and everyone will think I am a fabulous mom.
Sun came up on Tuesday morning
Hit me right in the eye without any preemptory warning
My car needs to go into ICU
To pay for the damage I’ll probably write an IOU
The email’s not working and IT won’t answer calls
They’ve stuck up a disclaimer on all the restroom walls
Sadly my biggest problem has nothing to do with mail
I’ve encountered a critical error and my PC is about to fail
Of course everyone of you who uses Apple Mac
Will be gearing up at this point for another PC attack
I beg you save it for another day
I’m not in the mood for sharp word play
The bathing ape is biding his time
Our problem child client had committed the ultimate crime
Against creativity and all things bright and beautiful
Despite all that whatever he does will turn out truly wonderful
I know he feels that his integrity has been brought into question
But now is perhaps the time to exercise discretion
Let’s make the client happy so they will go away
And come back to worry us again on some other distant day
(I’m trying not to smoke another cigarette
I don’t think its working and I’ll succumb I bet
Out of sheer frustration and general ennui
What more can you expect from a member of the bourgeoisie?)
I feel a bit like Alice falling down the rabbit hole
Veering off the straight narrow and losing my control
I cannot figure out if I should be big or small
Can I enter Wonderland or am I just too tall?
I know that I am very late for a very important date
I quite expect the Queen of Hearts me shortly to berate
I wouldn’t like to be beheaded or to have to play croquet
It’s hardly a game in which I am au fait
But I wouldn’t mind a stroll with the walrus down the beach
I’m sure he and the carpenter have a lot that they could teach
A girl like me who’s wandering off the beaten track
Or I could join the Mad Hatter for a little teatime snack
It doesn’t really matter what size I am it seems
After all I’m only a figment of the Red King’s happy dreams
Have you ever watched a lion sleeping in the sun
Ignoring the playful advances of his son
The sheer inertness of the feline form
The enjoyment of a full bodied yawn
The stretch that starts at his very toes
And moves muscle by muscle to the tip of his nose?
I want to snooze in the sun like an African king
Instead of sitting at a desk pretending to be working