The struggle is real


I did the middle-aged spread shuffle this morning.

I was damned if I was going to lose the battle between my waistband and my favourite Levis.

It took a few minutes of jumping up and down.

A few more of sucking in.

And, finally, the victory dance of doing up the zip.

Thanks giphy

I could buy another pair, but that would be admitting defeat.

I won’t.

Just like I won’t go to the loo today, in case I can’t do them up again.

I’m religiously going to the gym.

I can now kick-start a Boeing.

Squat like a broody hen and climb stairs like they’re Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven.

I’ve given up carbs.

I’ve forsaken chocolate.

I can’t remember what a potato chip tastes like.

What I can’t do yet is fit into the bloody Levis.

Maybe I can blame it all on impending menopause.

Maybe the washing machine shrunk every item of clothing I own?

Both are preferable to blaming my expanding girth on myself.

Maybe it’s gas?

To listen to the sheer genius of this song, link to the YouTube video:


Friendly words of wisdom

I’m always searching for quotes from “famous” types to make my writing seem more serious and as a way to get out of writing sentiments that other people have said better anyway.

Trolling through my Facebook page I realised something quite incredible.

My friends have some fabulous quotes that should be preserved for posterity.

So here are a few from today:

Bongi quoteMongezi2 mongezi1 mongezi3frank2 frank1Drew1 Andrew Pearson Jerm on pregnancy Jerm on per second billing Jerm

Find Jerm here