Suits

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I know you think the title of this post will likely lead to a celebration of the Prince Harry’s upcoming nuptials–  sadly you will be disappointed, so if you were expecting royal commentary I won’t blame you if you leave now.

Nope?

Yesterday my husband went to buy a suit. Without me.

Men, always take your significant other with you when buying something of this magnitude. Otherwise, it will have a high tendency to be something you will live to regret.

Husband set off in high spirits to visit the tailor. He chose the fabric and sent me a picture. To which I replied in abject horror: ‘I have to admit that I do not like this. At all.’

I considered the subject closed.

I arrived home to him admitting sheepishly, that he had not read my messages and it was a done deal.

I fixed him with a steely glare. There was a pregnant pause.

“I’ll just call them then?”

I continued to glare.

He made the call, to which I listened:

“Hi, I was just in about a suit. Yes, well, my wife saw the material and doesn’t like it (pause while tailor inquired as to my reaction). Um, hideous was the word she used. (Tailor laughter bursts through the phone). So, can I choose a new material? Yes? Great. What? Yes. Yes. You’re right, I’ll bring her in this time.”

Anyway, we both know the suit he really wants is David Tennant’s from Doctor Who.

 

 

 

 

 

To my Son on his 11th Birthday

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For every birthday my mother takes her grandchild shopping.

Usually she can’t wait to tell me what they’ve chosen. This year I got a phone call.

Mother: “Um, well we had an interesting shopping trip.”

Me: “So, what did he get?”

Mother: “Um… <long pause> it might not be quite what you were expecting.”

My heart fell.

Was my son going to go swag on me?

Was I going to face the public while my son tripped over his trousers while his bottom flashed at passersby?

Oh, the horror.

Doc who 1Me: “What. Did. He. Buy?”

Mother: “A bow tie.”

Me: “Well, bow ties are cool.”

Mother: “I think he has been watching too much Doctor Who.”

To which I say there is no such thing.

He is now wearing a conglomerate of Matt Smith and David Tennant.

It looks pretty cool.

Eleven years ago my neighbours in our flat conversion in Blackheath, south of the Thames, were complaining of my using power tools at an ungodly hour of the morning.

the-fat-cowTo which my husband replied: “No she wasn’t. She was giving birth.”

Apparently I sounded like a constipated cow, which was exactly how I felt.

 

Now that tiny little baby boy is a tween.

In South Africa I am often complimented on my “Firstborn”.

He really has grown up into an amazing little man.

397616_10151145131256116_1141865247_nHe is funny, clever and the best brother his siblings could have wished for.

I am very proud and humbled to be his mother.

Each day he teaches me something new or asks a question that makes me think.

James Leo Alexander, you are the best James in the whole world.

Thank you for choosing me to be your Mum.

I promise I’ll do my very best not to embarrass you.