Shrinking heads

Sitting in the waiting room at the shrink is a lot like I imagine it is at an STD clinic. You all know why you’re there, but don’t want to acknowledge it. Sadly, I think it’s probably more socially acceptable to have gonorrhea than depression. At least you’d have had some fun getting the clap. […]

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So, there was this snake…

There was hooting. There was shouting. And, I ignored it. I was in my happy place. Snuggled on the couch with a cat watching NCIS on Netflix. That didn’t last. “Mom. Mom! There’s a snake on the car!” “Hmm. What?” “A snake. On the car.” Bugger. I popped my head over the balcony. There was […]

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Four left feet

“I want to stand with you on a mountain…” My immediate reaction to the sound was this: “Who the hell has that annoying song as a ringtone?” Turned out that it was me. My husband, in a pique of romance changed my ringtone to our wedding song. It wasn’t our choice. It went down like […]

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The struggle is real

I did the middle-aged spread shuffle this morning. I was damned if I was going to lose the battle between my waistband and my favourite Levis. It took a few minutes of jumping up and down. A few more of sucking in. And, finally, the victory dance of doing up the zip. I could buy […]

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So, your kid wants to row…

I met some new rowing parents.They have no idea what’s in store for them. Here are some t hings they need to know.

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Aisle talk

When random people talk to you in supermarkets.

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I want the gym bag

Apparently, I will join a gym for a free bag. Who knew?

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What happened to the pillow?

I bought a new dress. This dress. I thought it looked light and summery. And pretty damn chic. Other people did too. But, not the important people aka my nearest and dearest. Nope. Halfway through dinner, my husband looks over to me and says the following: “So, what happened to the pillow?” “What pillow?” He […]

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We’re going on holiday – eventually

via GIPHY When it comes to going on holiday I like to get there faster I want to leave at 3 am 5, if there’s a disaster My family doesn’t give a hoot They’ll sleep in until 10 As long as they get there They don’t really care about when I need to pack the […]

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The unpalatable truth

When your kids abandon all attempts at tact and just say the unadorned truth. “Mom. You are fat.”

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