Google the woo

Image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay

The bureaucracy of the heavenly realm rivals that of a tax collector. The sheer amount of red tape is enough to keep you here, where you can least find a tax loophole or, in South Africa, “make a plan”. There are no plans to be made on the other side. 

I shall shuffle off this mortal coil only to be coiled up in more forms that must be completed in triplicate under the full moon on Tuesdays.

This week was a lot of the talking. So much of the talking. So, so much.

I suppose I was expecting a mediumship course to be a little less theory and a little more of the talking to dead people.

Google it

Archangel Michael is apparently a huge fan of Google. He probably owns shares. If you ask him for help before you search he’ll make sure you get the right results. Blow the Google algorithm.

Soul groups

You are part of a group of souls that always hang around each other in and out of lives.

This can be great, if you like them. Not so great if your mother-in-law hated you and you have to deal with her in every single incarnation and the space between.

While some of you are stuck down here, the rest wait in the wings for their turn.

If you hate everyone in your group or just feel that you are too old for this type of shenanigans, you can leave yours and join another.

Not everyone is in a soul group. Some souls have just had enough peopling and want to be left the hell alone. They might hang out with some other lone souls when they feel like a pint at the pub, or just visit yours for a bit and then go home. They’re basically socially inept introverts.

If there a finite amount of energy and souls, how come our population is increasing?

Don’t let the science fool you. We exist in a multiverse of realities. Apparently, such cool stuff is happening in ours, that souls from other places are crowding in here. Like teenagers at a Justin Bieber concert. Everyone wants a ringside seat at the train wreck.

Do I start off as an amoeba and end up as a person?

No. You don’t have to incarnate as a cockroach. It works a little bit like species scientific classifications.

Say you are a Siamese cat.

You are part of an Oversoul group – Felines.

Then you get put into a soul group – House cats.

Then you end up a soul fragment – Siamese, tomcat.

Next time you could be a tiger or a Devon Rex.

Animals are allowed one incarnation as another animal.

So, instead of being a cat next time, you could choose to be a rhinoceros.

Horses, cats and dolphins can choose to incarnate as a person. Why they would, is utterly beyond me. I would like to stay a fat, happy, housecat forever and ever.


There are 3 types of dreams.

  1. Play dreams – daily stuff your subconscious needs to process.
  2. Symbolic messaging dreams – repetitive dreams that guide you.
  3. Vision or prophecy dreams – exactly what the name suggests.

Based on a sample size of 100 dreamers averaged to form a bell curve the following stands:

80% of dreams are play dreams.

17% are symbolic messaging dreams.

3% are vision or prophecy dreams.

It’s all very statistically sciency.

Dream dictionaries are load of BS (much like all of this blither). What the symbols in your dream mean are incredibility subjective to the dreamer. Except for water, which is always about your emotional state.


Keep a dream journal for a week. Take note of feelings, symbols, etc. When you get up and finally get some coffee and feel passably human you can then dissect your dream.

So, imagine that you have a repetitive dream of a cupboard falling on you.

You need to break it down:

Physical Emotional Intellectual Spiritual

The falling cupboard dream could unpack its meaning like this:

The dreamer is feeling overwhelmed by changes in their physical environment. They feel uncertain and would rather cling to the familiar then embrace the unknown. They need to declutter their lives and get rid of anything that is no longer useful to them.

What if I can’t remember my dreams?

Ask Archangel Michael to help you remember. Choose an unusual trigger word that you wouldn’t ordinarily drop into conversation.

It’s a good idea to write this down somewhere. I’m always forgetting my passwords and then it’s all red tape and irritation trying to get them back. Something like… discombobulate.

Then you say, “Archangel Michael, when I say ‘discombobulate’, please let me remember my dream.”

So far, this is not working. I cannot remember a single dream from the whole week. I did remember to turn over and scribble what I thought was a coherent message in the middle of the last night, but when I looked at this morning it just said, ‘Game show, tuck-shop’. It means nothing to me.

Lucid dreaming in a nutshell

This is when you’re consciously aware that you’re dreaming and can actively influence the dream. For example, you’re realise that you are naked in front of a board meeting and deliberately put on some clothes.

Astral travelling

That feeling when you suddenly jerk awake after feeling that you’re falling. That’s it. You’ve just successfully astral travelled. You could pop next door and spy on your neighbours. Or, you could also travel to the Sasquatch dimension. Who knows?  

Sleep paralysis

This can be physically triggered by hormone imbalances in the body. It could also mean that you’re under spiritual attack. If you think it’s an attack, you need to wheeze out “Do you walk in the light?” 3 times and it should go away. Or you might want to see a doctor.


I have 2 more weeks to go.

My mother is of the opinion that I’m nearing the end of my tether and not likely to make it to the end. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of being right.

Neither am I prepared to let this thing go until my Great-granny tells me how to make her tomato sandwiches correctly.

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I write because I have to. It is a compulsion. I do it to vent, to laugh and to remember. I blog because it has been so long since I had to write with a pen that my hand would go into cramp if I tried to write a journal.

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