Sometime at Segaia

3324_001_Fotor DANE

The city smog was oppressive.

The sounds of police sirens and house alarms deafening.

It was time.

I Googled.

I made some calls.

I packed the bags.

And decamped to the bush.

Dragging along 3 teenage boys, 1 tween-ager (is that a word? It should be) and the spouse.

We ended up at Segaia Bush Retreat in the Dinokeng reserve only an hour out of the city and perfectly placed to take 2 teenagers to rowing training at 7am at Roodeplaat Dam.

I was Jafar finding the diamond in the rough. Segaia Bush Retreat took the role of Aladdin. Google starred as the genie (with the same noir humour as Robin Williams).

I don’t exactly know what I was expecting. Maybe a lumpy old double bed, a dusty bunk bed and a mildewed sleeper couch?

This was nothing like that.

It was out of my wildest dreams.

  • A massive two-storey lodge.
  • A huge kitchen.
  • Three bathrooms.
  • A lounge.
  • A fireplace.
  • A TV room.
  • A king-sized bed.
  • A double bed.
  • Two single beds.

And a place I want to live in forever.

Check out our accommodation!

We wandered around in a sort of daze, finding a swimming pool, a little watering hole for impala and kudu. A chorus of frog song. And stars. All the stars the city lights drown out with their garish hunger for attention.

Teenage rowers 1 and 2, and I, watched the sun rise in all its splendour at 5:30am. We sat in a traffic jam of impala who stared balefully at us for 20 minutes. I abandoned the boys and raced back to Nirvana.

Eventually, a small girl and an enormously tall beanpole of a teenager wandered out into the garden.

So, we did what everyone does.

We explored.

Cup of tea in hand, toast in my son’s and a strawberry smoothie clasped in my daughter’s we meandered along a path into the veld.

And then we were almost run down by very intense mountain bikers with one energy bar and a bottle of water.

I minced along with my teacup, because that’s how I hike for an hour and a half!

By Sunday afternoon I was already sinking into grief that we had to leave.

“Did you see many animals?” asked the Lodge Manager.

“Actually,” I said, “Funny you should ask, but… after I had marinated steaks all day and had just put them on the fire, an enormous black shadow detached itself from the gloom. It slunk undetected into our midst and in a single breath inhaled six PERi-PERi steaks before diving back into the night.”

“Oh,” he said, “Ah.”

“Ah?” I asked.

“That would have been the Great Dane.”

Ah, indeed.

Anyway, I was so blissed out that I didn’t even care very much, I just took out some extra stuff and we ate that instead.

And the whole shebang cost me?

R1,800 a night for 6 people.

If you need a weekend’s retreat take a click over to: http://www.segaia.co.za/

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