The city smog was oppressive.
The sounds of police sirens and house alarms deafening.
It was time.
I made some calls.
I packed the bags.
And decamped to the bush.
Dragging along 3 teenage boys, 1 tween-ager (is that a word? It should be) and the spouse.
I was Jafar finding the diamond in the rough. Segaia Bush Retreat took the role of Aladdin. Google starred as the genie (with the same noir humour as Robin Williams).
I don’t exactly know what I was expecting. Maybe a lumpy old double bed, a dusty bunk bed and a mildewed sleeper couch?
This was nothing like that.
It was out of my wildest dreams.
- A massive two-storey lodge.
- A huge kitchen.
- Three bathrooms.
- A lounge.
- A fireplace.
- A TV room.
- A king-sized bed.
- A double bed.
- Two single beds.
And a place I want to live in forever.
Check out our accommodation!
We wandered around in a sort of daze, finding a swimming pool, a little watering hole for impala and kudu. A chorus of frog song. And stars. All the stars the city lights drown out with their garish hunger for attention.
Teenage rowers 1 and 2, and I, watched the sun rise in all its splendour at 5:30am. We sat in a traffic jam of impala who stared balefully at us for 20 minutes. I abandoned the boys and raced back to Nirvana.
Eventually, a small girl and an enormously tall beanpole of a teenager wandered out into the garden.
So, we did what everyone does.
Cup of tea in hand, toast in my son’s and a strawberry smoothie clasped in my daughter’s we meandered along a path into the veld.
And then we were almost run down by very intense mountain bikers with one energy bar and a bottle of water.
I minced along with my teacup, because that’s how I hike for an hour and a half!
By Sunday afternoon I was already sinking into grief that we had to leave.
“Did you see many animals?” asked the Lodge Manager.
“Actually,” I said, “Funny you should ask, but… after I had marinated steaks all day and had just put them on the fire, an enormous black shadow detached itself from the gloom. It slunk undetected into our midst and in a single breath inhaled six PERi-PERi steaks before diving back into the night.”
“Oh,” he said, “Ah.”
“Ah?” I asked.
“That would have been the Great Dane.”
Anyway, I was so blissed out that I didn’t even care very much, I just took out some extra stuff and we ate that instead.
And the whole shebang cost me?
R1,800 a night for 6 people.
If you need a weekend’s retreat take a click over to: http://www.segaia.co.za/