The Ponytail Swishers

 

the-ponytail-swishers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can swish your ponytail at me all you like.

The sound of young Indian virgins’ hair flapping in the wind attached to your privileged scalp. Quite frankly it freaks me out. Why would you sew other people’s hair onto your own?

Regardless…

You can swish your ponytail at me all you like.

I’m still not joining the PTA, selling raffle tickets to my coworkers or baking cookies. Ask me to come up with a fundraising idea, social media or just straight-out ask me for money, but don’t make me sell goddamn raffle tickets.

You can swish your ponytail at me all you like.

We changed schools. It’s not like we defected to the Dark Side. (Although, they do have better cookies). Swishing your ponytail at me is downright bizarre given the circumstances. Referring to me as ‘The Traitor’ gives me way too much credit.

Hang on.

Why are you crawling around in the mud on your hands and knees?

Did you lose a contact lens?

Oh, you didn’t?

You lost 3 grand’s worth of extensions with all that swishing?

I won’t laugh. I promise.

Okay. I lied.

I’m laughing.

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