Someone I know, I won’t name names, went bowling and almost broke her back.
Seriously, can there be a more inglorious way to end up?
Imagine the conversation at the Pearly Gates:
St Peter: “Welcome to the afterlife, what brought you here?”
Nameless: “I slipped at a bowling alley.”
St Peter: “Bahahaha! Wha…?”
When I make my arrival I’d like to have a story, an epic story, not arrive at the gates of the netherworld because I got run over by a Mini Copper, or because I fell down the stairs in a Lego-related accident.
Anyway, apparently, the story goes likes this.
She was celebrating with friends and family when appalled by her mother’s attempt at hitting the pins, she decided to cross the line that clearly reads “Do not cross” and run after the ball, recapture it and give her Mom another go.
Only, upon crossing that dreaded line at a full tilt sprint, her shoes and the shiny alley surface parted company.
In that dreadful slow-mo that these happen in, she went airborne, hovered for a few milliseconds a la Wily Coyote and then ended up flat on her back, both pride and physical body in agony and all the breath expelled from her lungs.
Of course, once the breath had returned she saw the funny side and that’s when people really started to worry about her health. As one would seeing a grown woman in a bowling alley in the foetal position guffawing with hysteria.
All I can say is, isn’t she lucky she’s not trending on YouTube this morning?
Actually, the story made me sit my desk wiping tears from my eyes, because I have been there, done that and wear the t-shirt with pride.
I did it in a shower.
I executed a perfect side kick aimed at my husband, who grabbed my leg and sent me thwacking into the bathroom tile.
As I lay there, the warm water pooling under my head became (in my overactive imagination) a pool of my blood and brains leaking out of the gargantuan crevice in my skull.
My husband laughed so hard he had to call my mother and then they both sat there and laughed at me lying on the floor trying to keep my brains in.
At least now I know I’m not the only one. If YouTube had been around in that instance, I am only too certain my beloved family would have made sure I was on it.