Choking on our Cosmopolitans

Cosmopolitan cocktail with lemon garnish

When I started this blog, it was sort of a twisted therapy.

My version of a letter in a bottle.

A way of releasing all the words that bottled up inside me and setting them free in an act of catharsis.

I’ve been silent here for a while. I’ve had to be.

The borders between real and virtual blurred somewhere along the line.

I have to worry about what the people I know in the real world will think when they read my words.

What they’ll see that they don’t want to, that I don’t want them to.

I have to find this new voice – a sort of happy pretend voice.

In the meantime I can’t shove letters into empty bottles and trust the tide to wash them away anymore.

Honesty is a trait we all say we value, but the truth is, that honesty scares us stupid.

Sometimes, coating it in sugar candy is the only way to help it go down.

Even then, we don’t really like the thinly disguised bitter taste.

It makes us choke on our Cosmopolitans.


7 thoughts on “Choking on our Cosmopolitans

  1. I’m sorry to hear that you need to muffle your voice. I do get it. My sons are at an age that I need to be careful about what I share. It’s a delicate balance, but I hope it won’t keep you from being yourself on your blog.

  2. I understand completely. I often wonder why I share my blogs? it seems so personal and a form of over sharing, but in reality it is exactly that, cathartic. I call it my therapy. The words move around in my head, move to my fingertips and then spew out in the form of a blog. I find it hard to express my feelings but by writing it can. May your writing set you free.

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