Just when you think there’s a gadget for everything, along comes the Japan Trend Shop and blows that out of the water and into the next universe over.
Like these deodorized pants for the ladies.
Obviously no-one told the designers that women don’t fart, little rainbows sometimes just escape from our bottoms.
Then there is the Breast Gymnastics Hand Massager your personal breast sculptor.
Now, the thing is when you start looking at their site, everything seems really bizarre, but then something strange happens and you start to go, “Oooh, I’d like one of those.”
One of my personal favourites, that must have been developed for the South African population are these zeitgeist jeanpants that “are pert, durable and ooze Zeitgeist appeal.”
Then there’s the Japanese fake beard set designed to help turn the “so-called soushoku danshi or “herbivore men” who prefer shopping to sex, personal preening to manly drinking” into the “wild man”. And you wear it in the shower.
Or a pair of snaggletooth teeth moulds to make you look not at all crazy.
But seriously, how cute are these cat tights?
“Made from the same material used by Japan’s world-class firefighters, this flame-retardant suit protects from heat while adding a carrying handle for controlling and transporting frantic pets. It’s not just for your furry friend, though- pockets on the side of the jacket hold emergency tools and supplies for pet and owner alike.”
I saved the best for last. This is a Hello Kitty toilet noise eliminator. Basically it makes the sounds of running water to cover any embarrassing sounds you might make.
And finally, the shouting vase.
“Turn your loudest, most urgent frustrations into mere whispers with the Shouting Vase. The plastic jug is designed to fit over the contours of your mouth and absorb your screams and shouts, “storing” them in the vase and emitting a softer version of your angry cries through the tiny hole at the base.”
I must have one. Now.