helena e-book cover

If you asked a sample of people what their biggest fears are, I bet you’d get a few rats, spiders and creepy crawlies.

However, lurking under the politically correct answers are ones like getting wrinkles, saggy boobs and being naked in public.

mika pokaAs for me, I live in terror that one day men in white coats will come knocking on my door and announce to the world what I have always known, that I am bat shit crazy.

Being put in an institution is a nightmare based on Ken Kesey and every lunatic asylum horror story you can imagine.

Every now and then I troll the internet looking for proof that are others crazier than I am.

People with the same macabre sense of Monty Python-esque humour.

Not the real crazies, the orange traffic cone shaggers (yes, really in Edinburgh), the adult babies and the Dahmer groupies, not even the Bieber fans, but the ones people should worry about.

Ones like me.

Ones who find life absurd, who laugh in the face of danger and white men dancing.

Ones who never take life seriously, not even our own.

No matter how bad things get, we laugh. Not a quiet little tee-hee either, but a Bella Lugosi, spine chilling roar Katy Perry only wishes she had.

While indulging myself one morning writing some irreverent flash fiction, I happened on a comment left by someone with same quirky, noir funny bone – one Dilettante Extraordinaire, the queen of Darlings – Helena Hann-Basquiat.

I found out quite by chance recently that darling is an old-English term meaning “Favourite minion” and I quietly preen each time I receive a “darling” in my inbox.

My convoluted point leads me to this; Helena’s memoirs are coming out in printed volume and ebook , this Spring in the Northern climes, (assuming Spring ever comes, which I am beginning to doubt). For me it will make Autumnal reading instead.

Regardless, your life will be poorer, your humour less funny and your day a little gloomier without it. So get your grubby little paws on it ASAP and head over to in the meantime for a little taste of what’s to come.


COMING SPRING 2014 — official date TBA

Memoirs of a Dilettante is a collection of reminiscences, following Helena Hann-Basquiat, a self-proclaimed dilettante who will try anything just to say that she has, and her twenty-something niece, who she has dubbed the Countess Penelope of Arcadia, in their off-beat antics in such places as common as the local McDonald’s or the comic book store, to their travels to Miami for the search for the perfect Cuban sandwich. Interspersed between wacky one-off adventures, Helena tells personal, sometimes painful stories from her past in order to try and make sense of her life as it has played out, tempering everything with an indomitable sense of humour.

Cummerbund Bandersnatch, the Accidental Plagiarist, strippers, rock stars, geeks, freaks, and the Barista With No Name — these are just a few of the characters you’ll meet inside.

Discover Helena’s tales for the first time or all over again, with new notes and annotations for the culturally impaired — or for those who just need to know what the hell was going through her mind at the time!

If you just can’t wait and you want a taste of Helena’s writing, follow her blog:

If you just can’t get enough Helena, or you want updates on further goings on, release dates and miscellaneous mayhem, follow Helena on Twitter @hhbasquiat



  1. Pingback: Thank You Victoria! | Being the Memoirs of Helena Hann-Basquiat, Dilettante.

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