Birds and Bees

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On Friday I received a letter from Son 1’s school.

It was a letter that struck terror into the very heart of me.

It came too soon. It can’t be that time. What on earth am I going to do?

“In today’s society where our boys grow up so much faster than before, there is a need to educate them and make them aware of the changes their bodies will go through as they develop. To this end we will be having a lesson where we will start the discussion on puberty, hormones and body changes.”

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This weekend Son 1 had a friend over.

They don’t have play dates anymore, they have sleepovers and gaming conventions.

In the course of the weekend I used the nearest laptop, which happened to belong to Son 1.

His browser history had me grasping for the wine and the nearest tranquilizer.

I understand that they both want to show off and convince the other they are older then they are, but the search “How to kiss a teenage girl” made me shiver in my boots.

Of course, the filters we have on the network stopped the search, but the point is that it was searched for in the first place.

He

is growing up, and that scares me.

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Of course he should know how to kiss a girl.

I suffered through the dreadful lip locks of teenage boys and desperately wished someone had given them some guidance.

After my first kiss I was so revolted I never wanted to go there again.

Then I woke up this morning to a radio discussion about lowering the age of sexual consent to 13 or something ridiculous and it made me want to lock my children up and never let them go outside again.

It made some valid points to my sleep befuddled brain.

That we give mixed messages saying that you can buy condoms and have abortions before you can legally have sex and so on.

birds-beesAll the same, just because your body is mature enough does not mean the rest of you is.

I sure as hell wasn’t and I was older than 13.

All the same it isn’t something police or courts or laws can do anything about.  It’s something families have to deal with, by having open conversations and encouraging questions.

By not following my initial instinct of running far far away, but by being honest and imparting the values and morals and strength of character to wait until your voice has actually broken and your braces are off.

We can’t continually expect government and schools to parent our children.

That’s not their job. It’s ours.

 

 

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13 thoughts on “Birds and Bees

  1. I’m not really sure what I will do when the time comes. I’m thinking maybe of using some of those Robie Harris ( http://robieharris.com/?page_id=215) books as I think they do a decent job of explaining everything. My mom’s explanation was not good enough for me (watching a “The Miracle of Life” video – basically the development of a baby from conception to birth), and frankly a little traumatizing. And my dad simply asked my brother if he had any questions, and really who wants to ask/answer those?

    • Well, my son got in the car and declared that never ever ever in a million years would be even vaguely interested in sex. He was appalled at women go through and felt that being a boy was way better.

  2. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! That’s pretty much my response to this topic. I know I have to talk about it soon. I have no idea how to do it.
    It’s another rite of passage for parents, I guess.

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