Bats in the belfry



Women are complicated creatures.

No doubt that’s why God took longer to make us. he started with the easy one first and worked himself up the ladder.

Because we are complicated the men in our lives need to be able adapt and bend like bamboo in the wind in order to cope with our mercurial natures.

Many women are charmed by the straight forward let-it-all-there approach favoured by many men. This has its benefits.

“Would you like to come in for some sex?” as opposed to “Want to come in and see my etchings?”

A girl can get confused and go in expecting to see some paintings only to find herself in the starring role of some performance art.

However, there are exceptions.

For example, if you want to tell a woman that you think she has gone bat shit crazy, you may want to think it through before you vomit that gem at her feet.

You-Should-Never-Tell-a-Woman-Shes-CrazyFirstly, check the calendar. Do not even attempt this if she is pre-menstrual, currently menstrual or immediately post-menstrual.

During this period she knows she’s bat shit crazy, but won’t appreciate you telling her so.

I reckon this gives you about 48 hours tops in the month.

This is important because she will either rip your head off or burst into tears, neither of which will lead to a happy ending.

Secondly, delivery is important, even proposal level important, but without any expectation of her throwing herself into your arms and pledging eternal devotion.

Walking up to a girl and saying “I think you need to get your head checked,” is more likely to raise questions about the state of your mental health than hers.

In a quieter moment or on later reflection she may well be bowled over by your caring nature and outpouring of love and concern.

After all, there is no easy way to address mental health issues with someone you care for. It’s a minefield filled with IEDs ready to go off at the slightest pressure.

crazywomansaloonWhich leads to the third point.

You should up your exercise regime prior to your intervention.

More plainly, you will need to duck and run very fast – Usain Bolt fast, speed of light fast.

Sometimes to a another country.

In another time zone.

Until the smoke clears.

For about two to three weeks.

Otherwise you may find out just how much more bat shit crazy she can get. 

12 thoughts on “Bats in the belfry

  1. Ah that may be why my doctor was suddenly urging me to consider the medicinal benefits of certain teas… One of the only benefits of being a spinster (beyond total and complete control of the remote always) is my dog is not inclined to tell me I am crazy at any point. He has only a few ways to indicate his concern and love for me and they seem pretty stable every day of the year.

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