Look me in the eye when you speak to me. Oh, hell my boobs answer too.

Bruce-Willis-staring-at-Halles-Breasts1

All women are convinced that all men speak to their boobs.

Of course, if you have porn star size bazookas all gazes, male and female, will be drawn to their gravity defying enormousness.

Usually these gazes contain less arousal and more fear of death by boob.

peacock-new-zealand_10933_990x742That aside, periodically the Husband lets loose with surprising tidbits of information. Ones that could have changed the course of my life had I known them sooner.

Last night he espoused at some length on biological flirting techniques apparently discovered by a scientist (and therefore true). Sadly, he was unable to point me in the direction of said scientist’s paper on the subject so I must rely on his interpretation.

This is how it works for both sexes.

  1. blue eyeLook at the person’s right eye.
  2. Then at the left eye.
  3. Then at the nose.
  4. At the right eye.
  5. At the left eye.
  6. At the mouth.
  7. At the right eye.
  8. At the left eye.
  9. At the boobs or chest depending.
  10. Then start again.

Now, if the person concerned is not looking at you by now as a possible escaped lunatic with a twitching problem you will be able to tell by the direction of their gaze if they are interested, not interested or totally freaked out.

Not interested?

A-type personalities will avoid your gaze on Step 1 by staring at the stars.

B-type personalities will skitter to the side and then fixate on a point at their feet.

Interested?

I guess you’ll know.

Apparently this is fool-proof.

Obviously had a known this, I would not have discounted so many pimply faced young men of my youth. My dry years of teenage solitude could have been filled with hormone riddled testosterone.

man hands on pockets

During my Google research I found out other subconscious or conscious devices used to attract a mate.

A man who loops his fingers in his belt of pockets is not perhaps looking for his wallet, he is forcing you to admire his package.

Rubbing his stomach is not a sign on hunger or indigestion it is a cue for you to notice his manly six pack.

If he stands with his legs wide apart he is not John Wayne he is trying to look manly and powerful.

Audrey-Hepburn-Raised-Eyebrows-Vagina-Mouth-198x300From the woman’s perspective, if she raises her eyebrows, it is not because she thinks you are mad, but is actually a sign of interest and attraction.

If she flares her nostrils it is not body odour that is bothering her, but that she loves the smell of your manly pheromones.

All in all I found the process of finding this all out rather creepy and am exceptionally glad I got married before desperation became a factor.

 

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5 thoughts on “Look me in the eye when you speak to me. Oh, hell my boobs answer too.

  1. Pingback: Homepage

  2. I agree. I am grateful I grew up in an era where the worse thing that ever happened to anyone was herpes. Life and dating was so easy and uncomplicated. Well blogged Victoria Bruce.

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