Scam Artiste


The shrill ring of the telephone shocked me out of the zone.

I like the zone. I do not like to be shocked out of it at the best of times especially by a cold call scam artist.


“Hello,” replied a pretty Indian accent, “This is Chaitali from Universal PC Secure. How are you today?”


“You have a laptop or a PC?”


“Well, as a registered Windows owner we have noticed that your computer is receiving some dangerous files that will slow down your software.”


“Yes, so…”

“So, I’ll tell you what. I have no interest in giving you access to my computer or my bank account or getting even listening any further, however amusing, to this unbelievably stupid scam.”


The gall of these people astounds me, but even more so how the hell they got my personal home phone number.

This scam has been publicised by banks, radio stations and more, I would think they would retreat and come up with something better.

419Perhaps they should get in touch with some of the 419 guys for inspiration?

The Nigerian scams have far more imagination.

In short, they call you up, paint a picture of imminent technological destruction, take control of your computer, upload all your passwords then charge you R5 000 for the privilege of allowing them to empty your bank account.

My mother was targeted and thank heavens half way through turned off her computer and promptly cancelled her credit cards and changed all her passwords.

Her friend was not so lucky.

hornetAnd then after trying to scam me out of my somewhat meagre finances to hang up on me just as I was hitting my stride of righteous indignation seems the height of impertinence. The least she could do was hear me out.

Far worse than a measly computer virus I would have liked to leave her with a hornet in her ear that would sting her repeatedly and make an incredibly annoying buzzing sound that would eventually leave her a completely insane, dribbling wreck of a human being.




5 thoughts on “Scam Artiste

  1. Pingback: Praise from Caesar – The Dilettante Edition, July 14, 2013 | Being the Memoirs of Helena Hann-Basquiat, Dilettante.

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