The Migraine

Copyright Migraine Man

Copyright Migraine Man

What does it feel like?

Like Mount Etna spewing red-hot lava and rocks in your skull.

Like Benny Benassi’s troupe of female construction workers drilling into your brain stem.

Like Celine Dion screeching a duet with Justin Bieber in your left ear.

Twice a month I need to be sequestered in a cool, dark room with no sharp objects within my reach.

Copyright Jacquie Boyd

Copyright Jacquie Boyd

For days before I know it is coming.

Like an unwanted housepest from the bowels of biological and hormonal hell.

The migraine.

It never comes at a convenient moment.

It never knocks politely.

It just barges into my brain and reduces me to a moaning zombie with self-destructive tendencies.

When beating your head against the bathroom floor seems like a good idea.

When sticking a knife into an eye socket to release the pressure seems perfectly reasonable.

Copyright Jacqui Boyd


This morning I awoke to discover the demon had arrived during the night and taken up residence somewhere near my right eyeball.

My husband rushed out at the break of dawn to find something, somewhere that might prevent me manifesting Exorcist like symptoms.

All the pharmacies were shut up tighter than a virgin on Prom night. He arrived home with a haul from the garage shop – a packet of paracetamol and some MedLemon sachets.

I took three and waited. I took two more and waited longer. I drank the MedLemon concoction of aspirin and more paracetamol.

Copyright Jacquie Boyd

Copyright Jacquie Boyd

Blissful oblivion ensued.

After a day spent in a near overdosed coma the pain has lessened to a dull throb.

I am gradually rejoining the land of the living. Although I still feel like a Pompeii victim.

Of course, I have probably burnt a hole the size of North Dakota in my stomach lining.

The moral of the story is, buy migraine packs in bulk and store them everywhere.


12 thoughts on “The Migraine

  1. I get these often, I take this medication> Cetirizine It may have another name where you are?..

    I take one a day, and when the migraine comes, it isn’t as powerful.
    I hope this helps, if you are not already taking something..
    I suffered for YEARS until a Dr put me on these, I take one in the morning, and when the head banging comes it takes 50% away. I just need to remember to take the tablet every morning.

    Ask your Dr about this drug, please, it may help x
    I hope you are feeling better… x

  2. A very accurate description of a migraine. I’ve had them for about 10 years (stress-related though the really fun ones are sinus migraine headaches). I used to have a prescription, but I got an immunity to it. Usually just take over-the-counter stuff. The worse one I had lasted 2 1/2 days and I had to work through it.

  3. OMG I can so relate! Thank you for sharing so well articulated and glad to have you back… No more live night of the living dead. LOVE the eye stabbing to relieve pressure–exactly put! JayNine xox

  4. All your fellow migraine sufferers of the world resonate with this post. I also worry about my stomach lining and my increasing tolerance, but we do what we have too 🙂
    Hang in there!

  5. I truly sympathise, darling — I too suffer from attacks from the beast that shall not be named (if you say his name, he comes a-calling.) You might find this amusing:
    It’s what I wrote the last time I had a migraine. Maybe you just need a little of what she’s having. (You’ll see what I mean)

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