H is for Hello, is this a bad time?


Outbound Call Centre Agents are a gift from God.

I can hear you snort into your lukewarm coffee in aghast disagreement, but hear me out.

pressurecookerGod understands that we live and work under immense stress.

He understands that this stress builds up like an internal pressure cooker until eventually the phuffy valve bursts and everyone in the vicinity is boiled alive under the onslaught of our superheated vitriol.

So, he made Outbound Call Centre Agents, to provide a safe outlet for all that anger and discontent. He makes sure that one will always call you at the most inconvenient time on a day when a single feather will be enough to break the back of your long-suffering patience.

He also made sure that they have rules to make it easier for us. For example, an Outbound Call Centre Agent is not allowed to hang up on you. They have to wait for you to put down the phone first.

Do you know what that means?

It means you can say anything you like! And they can’t do a damn thing about it.

God would not have made it so easy if he did not intend for us to regard OCCA as a psychological pressure reliever. You can get out all your fury at the world and the inefficiencies and stupidity of your fellow human beings in a safe and controlled environment.

Now, I know some of you might be saying, “But they are just doing their jobs.”

Yes, they are. Jobs provided by God in karmic retribution for previous sins. You are actually helping them karmically return to a higher plane of existence.

So, you see, you are doing actually doing them a favour when you let loose and tell them where they shove their special offer, cell phone, insurance or plea for more money.

I really don’t have to explain why I, and all other intelligent people, loathe and detest Outbound Call Centre Agents.

Do I?

I didn’t think so.

telephobiaMy darling mother had one on Friday from Virtual PC Secure. These lovely people told her the computer was riddled with viruses and charmed her password out of her to gain remote access.

They then proceeded to empty her recycle bin, clear her Cookies and probably upload a virus sending them every single password she has ever used.

After that, they then happily told her she owed them $750, please could they have her credit card details for immediate payment.

At this point my mother, who is in her seventies, panicked and shut down her laptop.

She then called the bank and put a hold on the payment and all her bank accounts. Today she has to get new bank cards, new passwords and start from scratch while we try to rid her computer of any lurking little thieves they uploaded.

Yes, it was stupid to give them her details, but she is hardly the first or the last to be caught by such a scam.

And that is why you are allowed to treat Outbound Call Centre Agents with all the disdain you wish.

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I write because I have to. It is a compulsion. I do it to vent, to laugh and to remember. I blog because it has been so long since I had to write with a pen that my hand would go into cramp if I tried to write a journal.

13 thoughts on “H is for Hello, is this a bad time?”

  1. Intresting,never consider it anger release… but admit i have yelled at call agent a time or two 😦
    I have also tried to do the job, and had to quit I was horrible at it

    1. It takes a very special kind of person to cold call complete strangers none of whom are ever glad to hear from you. Although, I had a chat with an Inbound agent once who told me that most of their calls in are from lonely elderly people who just want a chat.

  2. Another option occurs to me since they can’t hang up. I don’t really have the time or money for therapy any more. But some days I just need to talk things out anyway. Hmmmm. Maybe the next time I see that “Unknown” call I’ll pick up. I’m feeling some old issues creep up that I may need to discuss 😉 http://thrlymdrnmommy.blogspot.com/

  3. Well I have had my share of bad run ins with call centres, especially telus where they are all dumber than dirt and just read from the same manual over and over again in infinite circles. At the same time as someone who does support for a living (thanfully not of the call centre variety) I have to put in a plea for if you are angry at the company realize the supporter may not have any control and to wait until they themselves reveal themself to be stupid and unhelpful to begin your stress relief. I am getting an ulcer from dealing with pre-enraqged people some of whom I swear are really just mad at the universe and I am the only one who actually has to read what they say.

    1. Sadly, in SA stupid and unhelpful is the order of the day for outbound operators. I don’t advocate actually calling call centres to blow up at people, just that you are allowed to be anooyed at being called at a universal dinnertime to be asked something inane and before you can politely ring off have to listen to 30 minutes script.

      1. Yeah I get that outbound is a specific kind of nightmare and it sounds like your mother was scammed but I have a bone in my body the jerks when people want free reign on being rude to support types. (Having had at least 10 people call me charming names that question my intelligence today, and several more question the validity of my parents marriage I get defensive) The flip side is some people really are way out there on the rude side right out of the gate. It’s not as glamarous way to make a living as the ads that say you can wear your pjs to work make out…

  4. * Takes a deep breath before typing. I do so understand your position, I wish that these unwanted calls were not part of our every day life. I wish that the dialer system had not been invented. But, I have returned from the darkside, I was once one of those callers who just needed a few moments, had targets to reach and needed to put food on the table… and I got so much abuse! I hated my job, I hated the company I worked for but I sold my sole so I didn’t have to sit on bennifits being a drain on the tax payer. I provided for my son, I paid my rent … I was sorry for each call that connected!

    When you work in a hell-centre, being shouted at sworn at, being verbally abused is expected. When that person calls you … (unless they are operating what can only be described as a scam as detailed above) Why not make your point by making their day better…. or at least say thank you for calling you have saved me £50 in anger managment by listening to my rant.

  5. How funny! i had never considered that they could be a pressure release for me! Now i have a whole other perspective about their usefulness. thanks for sharing this information!

  6. Great post! Karmic retribution. I love it. Almost as much as I hate those OCCA’s. I already treat them with disdain. But wait. Please go and read my post “Karma will bite you…”You might want to change your mind. Or not. 🙂

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