Attack of the Ninja


Ninja are a vital ingredient for success. Just look at the movies – even Jane Austin has some ninja moves. Alright, I may be stretching the truth a bit there, but even then, Ninjas are everywhere.

In their efforts to become Ninja, my children attend karate twice a week, led by a Sensei who rates shortly below God in their esteem. Only too often I have been threatened with the wrath of Sensei should I not provide ice-cream after dinner.

Arriving for collection I noticed the Sensei had his arm in a sling. Asking the eager young Senpeis what was the cause, I was told the following:

Small boy 1: “It was amazing! He took on 10 Ninja who crawled out from under his bed!”

Small boy 2: “No, it wasn’t, 23 Ninja attacked him in the bathroom!”

Small boy 3: “That’s not true. It was 36 Ninja and he defeated every single one!”

That sounded pretty cool. The unadorned truth wasn’t nearly so interesting. He had an operation on a tendon in his shoulder.

I looked at him in piteous contempt.

“Sensei,” I said, “I think you should stick to the boys’ story instead.”

He replied ruefully, “It is no good telling them the truth, you know, they don’t think it is interesting enough”.

Point taken, although he was absurdly flattered that they believe absolutely he could take on an army of Ninja and remain standing. As would I.

Which brings me to question: What is the plural of Ninja? I have assumed they are like sheep only in black and slightly more vicious.


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