Turn off and drop out

It’s 06:30 in the morning. Must update myFacebook status. GAH! What should my BBM status say? And Twitter – mustTwitter. Have to check my email, my LinkedIn and my Google+. What about the blog? What do I say? 
Really, does anyone actually care? It’s hardly as though I spout words of wisdom. So why then am I letting it drive me round the bend?
The sun’s not up yet and my stress levelsare through the roof because I’ve been off the grid for 8 hours. Insane?
Last week I fell off the grid. I turned offmy cellphone. I didn’t check my email. I didn’t log into Facebook or Twitter orany of the others. I didn’t agonise over my Klout score or check in onFoursquare every place I went.
It was better than going to the spa.
The time has come to set some limitationsand to enforce them. I don’t expect everyone to be Harry Potter and magicallydeduce what they are. I’m going to tell you.
1.   Do not call me between 5pm and10pm. Assuming I answer, I will not be happy to hear from you. After 10pm Iwill be so exhausted I’ll just mumble incoherently at you about lunch boxes andquadratic equations. Whatever it is, it will keep until the morning.
2.   If you would hesitate to callmy home telephone, don’t call me on my cell either.
3.   Do not call me at 4am. Whoeveryou were I am sure there is a VIP hot rock in hell with your name on it.
4.   Do not phone me after a bottleof Tequila with the next BIG idea. Trust me it is not that big. Look at it whenyou’re sober. 
5.   Do not copy me on hilariousjokes, chain letters and any email that includes a line about sending it on to1500 of my closest friends or burning in hell.
6.   I know I have not won $10 000000. I am not that lucky. Stop taunting me.
7.   I cannot save all the abandonedanimals in the world. I sympathise with their plight. I donate to the SPCA.Leave me alone.
8.   If you work for a bank or anycall centre take me off your list. Whatever you are selling, I don’t want it.Not now. Not ever.
9.   God made Sunday a day of rest.It is my island in a week of insanity. Do not abuse it.
10.Learn to read the signs ofoverstaying your welcome. Yawning means it is time to go.
Despite all evidence above to the contrary,I am not a completely anti-social bitch. I just realised how much empty chatterand fluff clutters up my communication channels.
It takes me forever to find the informationthat really matters because I’m checking 6 different media and sifting through100 odd totally meaningless emails from J Edgar Hoover and Johnny English.
My message to the masses…
Turn off and drop out.

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