Like manywords a succubus has new and layered definitions. From being a female demon whopreys on sleeping men for sexual power, it now also refers to women outside ofthe bedroom and in the boardroom.
In everyoffice space there is one. One who feeds off spreading malicious rumour, unfoundedaccusation and supposition. The one who sits back and gloats as her seeds takeroot and grow in the drip tray of the watercooler. The one who always regardshim or herself as the innocent victim in a tyrannous world filled withinequality.
The onefrom whom no-one is safe when one’s back is turned. Whose tongue is a sharpseries of serrations honed on character assassination.
It’s partand parcel of life in a rabbit warren. That doesn’t mean I like it or condoneit. There is a special sort of cowardice in one who will not face a problemhead on, but prefers to undermine foundations from beneath.
Straight up?If you have a problem with a colleague, do yourself a favour and tell themabout it, not everyone else. Firstly, it is not my problem. Secondly, even mychildren know better. Gossip and rumour is grist to the millwheel of karma. Eventually,it will bite you so hard on your ass that you won’t sit for a week.
Here is abasic law. Do not make an accusation you cannot back up with hard fact and ityour moral responsibility to give the person concerned the chance to defend themselves.If you reach your thirties still dependent on others to fight your battles,your chances of climbing the corporate ladder are slim to nil. It’s time to put on your big girl panties andgrow up.
If say, a colleaguebuys a piece of jewellery you’ve had your eye on, don’t go behind her back andaccuse her of stealing it. That’s just petty.
When youwant to say something mean about someone, remember that commandment, “Do untoothers”, don’t share your dislike in front of that person in another language.That isn’t even petty, it’s indefinable. It’s also a strange thing to do, whena few weeks past you accused someone else of doing the very same thing.
If someonegets hauled in front of the boss for a minor infraction, don’t gloat about howthey deserved it. You end up painting a picture of yourself as a person whocannot be trusted, who is utterly narcissistic and on a one-way trip toself-destruction. If you hate your job and your colleagues so much, leave.
For somereason I have come against a number of women since motherhood who have resentedmy ability to breed with something akin to a deadly sin. Loathing a singlemother for being able to give birth when you are struggling is sick, twistedand disgusting. Disliking a person because they’ve managed to have more thanone child and you haven’t is bizarre. Turning that into reasons to constantlyput down and belittle mothers who work with you is beyond the pale. The sadthing is that I doubt they stop to examine their reasons too closely. Afterall, who would want to?
A word ofwarning if you ever work with me. Do not make your problems mine. I have enoughof my own. If you are going to storm into my office and make unfounded accusationsbased in rumour and your own over active imagination, I will throw you out.Just like I did today.