An open letter to Virgin Mobile

For the last three years I’ve been a Virgin
But much to my increasing chagrin
The service is awful, the reception is poor
Dick, my dear, this relationship is o’er
No you can’t have me back
Not after 2 hours of bad musaq

Sweetheart, I don’t want to migrate to a better plan
I don’t care if you mother named you Stan
I don’t want to be spoken to like a New York Rapper
With the IQ of a streetside slapper
I don’t want to drown in a sea of benefits
I want service that is not the pits

I don’t want you to call me and butter me up
I want to take my SIM card and cut it up
It’s easier to get a divorce,
Easier to bet on a winning race horse
Than leave the clutches of Virgin Mobile
I might just throw the damn thing in the garbage pile

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