Has deepest, darkest Africa swallowed you up?
Even your darling brother has heard ne’er a peep
You haven’t been run over by an out of control jeep?
Or mauled by a lion and now in his tum?
Or killed Cliffy and now on the run?
Tomorrow I’ll resort to old fashioned mail
With a stamp and an envelope and the pace of a snail
What’s going on in the goopy green swamp?
Can you hear a hungry hippo going stomp?
Are you singing with the birds in morning chorus?
(Damn, I’ll have to look for a rhyme in the thesaurus)
Are you creeping through the jungle with a really big gun?
Are you having lots and lots of fun?
For heaven’s sake girl, drop me a bone
Better yet, pick up the goddamn phone!